Confuse

Well, it was great meeting him again after so long..But there is an awkwardness btw us now...Jus talked to my fren 2 days ago..He asked me to pray, hope and trust/believe?..Half of me, if not most part of me wanted to do jus that..It seems impossible..I miss him terribly..How can I let go?!? I noe my fren gonna whack me in the head soon..Everything u told me didn go down the drain eric...It's jus hard..Very hard..Harder to c that he's happy (i'm not jealous)..Its jus plain hard...I feel sucky...Sigh, I wish time will turn back..We would have been the very best of friend if this doesnt happen...Ain't it? I'm losing my friends..I jus wanna disappear sometimes, wished I never existed..Nth hurt me more than losing my mum n this break up...There's no one that I can talk to bout this that wont complain..Except for my Viva owner friend =P..

2nd Interview...

Is it safe to say that I'm a nervous wreck after receiving the phone call that says I'm shortlisted for the 2nd interview?!? Yikes, preparing for the first was like...Erm..Scary? Now again?!? Wut question to expect wor? How to talk bout Salary n benefits...Haiz..Wish I'll get the job I like... :S Think Ju, Think..!!!!

Why..Tell me why!!

Yet again, it's an unhappy post...I noe u will never gonna read this..U promised that we gonna stay friends..But it feels like u prefer being stranger..Y?Jus tell me why..Guess u gonna delete me from all ur msn, frenster n facebook list..Thanks for the memories..Thanks for nth..Thanks for making me suffer...I will be strong for myself and my frens..Thanks~

First Job Interview

Yep, u read the title right..Went for my first job interview in Petronas Twin Tower for the position of Printed Circuit Board (PCB) designer for Ultimate Technologies Asia..U guys wanna noe smth, its not easy to move about inside the Twin Tower, wut I meant is that one can easily get lost inside the twin tower -.-" I got lost.. :S Must change lift at different floor in order to get to the 51st floor..N that is y I got lost..Hehe..When I reach the company, I was given a test!!!I was not prepared..I cheated a bit..Asked my friends for answer by sms-ing them..I noe I shoudnt do it, but I was panicking..I was thinking wut if I cannot answer even one question..Thanks Eric n PC..Hehe..Wut I tot to be a 2 interviewer and me type of interviewe turns out to be 4 interviewers and me!! 4, can u imagine that?!? N one of them is a Japanese..Jialat lor..They asked so many questions that I assume to test my confident? I dunno..

Overall, I guessed I give myself a score of 60%..Not bad mah hor?!?!Now wut i need to do is wait for a week before a reply from them..

Yup, I graduated last Friday on the 8th of May 2009..I finally did it..I wish that my mum n dad were here to wish me congratulations..But then it will never be..I miss my mum dearly.. So wish she was here..Sigh..

No Directions In Life

Here I am, sitting down in front of my lappie blogging..Was chatting with my fren jus now..I dunno wut I wan in my life..I've lost the directions in life..I jus graduated,yes..But, I dunno wut am I looking for.I dunno wut job I wanna do..I jus wan a person to share my life with..I tot I found "da one", but it didnt work out..He stole the most precious thing that I can offer, my love..We agreed to stay friends, but I dont think its the best solution..We are better off being stranger..I am suffering, yes I am..I dunno how to describe it..Part of me is still hoping that it will somehow work out (Cmon Ju, wake up..stop dreaming!!) :'( I noe it will never be..Our friendship for one will never be the same again, thats for sure..I am so suffering..I've never felt so loved before n this is smth that is hard to come back..The short duration that we were together, it really was awesome and I will treasure it forever..I don understand how u can be so cruel now..I don't understand how u can let go so fast..But it's okie..I forgive u..Mayb...Perhaps..U r doing this so I can let go easily..I don't noe..Not only I lose u as a partner, I lost u as a friend as well..The last conversation we had via msn, I tot we will still remain friends..But u didn even reply my sms-es..(its jus a normal fren to fren sms-es)..Don't give me the same excuse that u r busy..Replying a sms doesnt take u even 5 minutes.. :'( I am the stupid one I guess..He already ignoring and forgetting me, y am I still holding on to the memories? Y am I making myself suffer? I dunno..Maybe its because I love u too much...

From me to you~

Its funny how I really really wish that "someone" will read my blogs, my post..Sometimes, we human beings got no guts to tell wut we think, wut's our feeling face to face...I noe deep down inside, I'm still hoping, but I have gotta be strong in this.. Okie, I am not a poetry writer, but this wordings from a song, is wut i really wish to tell to u...

If I should stay,

I would only be in your way,

So I'll go but I know,

I'll think of you,
Every step of my way,

I will always love you,

Bittersweet memories,

That is all I'm taking with me,
We both know, I'm not what you need,
I will always love you..

I hope life will treat you kind,
I hope you'll have all you've dreamed of,
I wish you joy and hapiness,
But above all this,
I wish you love,
I will always love you.

Thanks~ No Regret...

Extracted from the SMS I received from Eric on 4th May 2009, 0158 hours...

The days we have are short enough,
Better be happy, smile and laugh,
Regret is wasting energy and time,
Makes your face as sour as lime, (isnt lemon more sour?!? =P)
Appreciate all you have with you,
Many you have, don't have a few,
Blessed are those who will realize,
What we have, those are our prize,
Rejoice, be grateful, and do not vie,
You need not regret til the day you die..

Somehow, this sms makes me emo~ Thanks eric for this poem.. There are some bad decisions that one has to go through in their journey of life..But hey,.this is life, rite? But yet, we tend to forget that we have friends that will support us behind and jus sulk for a very long time on a small matter...I am lucky in a way that I have so many friends that I know will be there for me when I need them..Friends, thanks for always being there for me, lending ur ears to me when I need them...

Thank you from the bottom of my heart~